If your intentions are good, and you’re honest in your communications, then you’re set to have lots of fun on the COMF site. If people are dishonest, they’ll get found out pretty quickly. People will lose trust in them, and/or (they) will be reported to COMF HQ.

The great thing about this site is that you are in control of the communication and you can take as long as you like to get to know someone. We do need/want you to be safe at all times so please read the following

Safety and Site Etiquette guide.

Please note this is a guideline and not to be taken as comprehensive advice. Don’t forget it’s really all about commonsense! Remember that whenever you meet new people who you have no connections with, be it in a bar or a dating site you need to be vigilant about your privacy until you feel safe to reveal more details.

Chatting to people on the site

When chatting to people on the site, don’t give out any personal details initially e.g. your surname, where you live, work, phone numbers etc. Always use the COMF message service to e-mail people as this is completely anonymous. Only people you invite to be your ‘mates’ can see what you’re up to, so you can keep it as private as you like. Remember you can stop communications with a person at any time – just hit the ‘block’ icon on their profile page or please hit the report button if you wish to escalate an issue or feel uncomfortable about any communications.

Make sure that you:

• ask questions – it’s ok to be a bit nosey here!
• only agree to meet them when you feel comfortable and you have enough information
• trust your instincts – if you feel someone is being dishonest, TELL US A.S.A.P
• Please alert us immediately if you are conversing to someone who is overseas. COMF is for NZ Residents only!

Considering Meeting up

Make sure you meet up only when you are ready. Remember you are in control here! It is often easy to become impulsively intimate with a person by communicating with him/her on-line, only to find out later that the person has been dishonest. Take it slow! The benefit of using our website is that you can take your time and learn about a member until you feel sure you want to continue with a relationship in person.

Be on the lookout for anyone who you think may be:

• pressurising you to meet them
• wanting you to disclose personal information before you’re ready including your address, or information about your financial situation.
• Claiming they are in a situation of financial hardship and want you to transfer/deliver funds to them
• inconsistent with their statements/information
• not answering your questions

If they don’t have a photo on the site, it’s a good time to ask to see one! Having a chat on the phone is a good idea too so you can check their interpersonal skills, but make sure you only give mobile numbers; (if you’re calling them you can get your number withheld so they can’t tell your mobile number).

Meeting

So you want to meet? Great, but you should always tell a trusted friend when and where you are meeting. Always meet in a public place where you know there will be other people around e.g at a busy cafe. Make your own arrangements to get to and from the venue. Keep your personal details safe. Stay in control at all times & watch your drink. Make sure your mobile is charged, in credit and with you! Have a plan to get out of the situation if you feel uncomfortable i.e you have an appointment at a certain time. Don’t worry if you seem over-cautious, if they’re worth it they will understand!

Just be on the lookout for anything unusual including:

• their temperament: is the person negative, heated, fixated on you or domineering?
• any impolite, or humiliating remarks;
• any unsuitable or improper physical behaviour;
• discrepancy or contradiction in a person’s statements;
• inability to give a straight answer to a direct question.

If you encounter any of the above during a meeting or just feel uncomfortable in someone’s company then it’s time to leave. Remember if a situation feels unsafe or you feel threatened call the Police. Also please CONTACT US if you’ve met someone who has given you reason for concern.

Site etiquette

There are a couple of things we want you to do when you are a COMF member. They’re based around some honest old fashioned dating etiquette that we think is important stuff!

If someone contacts you via the site who isn’t your perfect match, you can choose one of three automatic ‘no thanks’ e-mails. This ensures that we’re all polite & treat people with respect! Remember all our members are real people with feelings – don’t leave people hanging!

Be proactive. There’s no point in sitting back and waiting. Get out there and start messaging people you like the look/sound of!

The finale

After all that information don’t forget to have fun too! There are lots of positives that evolve when people introduce their single mates. Sure, we can’t promise love, but this should increase the chance!

By now you should have the message – always use your common-sense, take it at your own pace, keep your personal details safe till you feel ready, and always let a friend know where you are. Not that hard really!

Enjoy and remember to email us if you think there is something we can do better to make things safer for you: sally@checkoutmyfriend.co.nz

Cheers,

The team at COMF.